As long as our self-image is unchanged, then the response will be consistent every time, fluctuating with-in a narrow band based on our mood. This is true in “constricted consciousness,” (or bad mood) where it is nearly impossible for us to pull ourselves out of our ego-oriented state, see clearly, and then behave appropriately.
Lighting Up Reality
Sometimes we have flashes of perspective that temporarily enhances our ability to see clearly and so it becomes easier, in that moment, to make a better choice. For example, after witnessing a serious accident, what happens? We do not feel like joking. We are quiet. We feel almost detached, separated from the illusion of the world. So much seems irrelevant…at least for the moment.
We gain perspective and are simultaneously filled with gratitude and humility. Thus, we gain self-control in that instant. We do not care who is there, who looks, who stares. We do not judge or want or crave. The ego loses its pull, and its voice is muted.
The psychological mechanics, the actual process, behind the perspective is intriguing. Let’s examine how this works. A person sustains severe injuries in an accident and then works tirelessly to regain the use of his legs. He will likely have immense gratitude for his subsequent ability to walk. On the other hand, the gratitude of someone who narrowly averts an accident dissipates after just moments. Shouldn’t the more fortunate one be more grateful than the injured person? After all, he didn’t need to endure painful surgeries and struggle through months of rehab. Even more amazing, the person who never needed to swerve to avoid an accident typically feels little, if any, gratitude.
It’s odd, isn’t it, that the one who survives and triumphs over disaster is filled with lasting gratitude; the one who sidesteps the accident feels fleeting gratitude and perhaps even annoyance; and when nothing happens at all, we simply complain about the traffic. What is going on here?
The reason that gratitude is often fleeting is that we believe what we have is deserved, we have a sense of entitlement. If we found ourselves in a war zone and managed to reach our destination safely, we would be grateful. But, if we do not perceive traveling as a physical threat, then getting from point A to point B unharmed holds little significance. Indeed, why should we feel grateful for something we have come to expect? This is how it should be.
It’s only when reality conflicts with expectations that we realize our “unalienable rights” can suddenly be denied. The person who drives uneventfully experiences no threat to his well-being. From his perspective, life is how it should be. But, after a near miss, he recognizes that the possibility of unfulfilled expectations exists, so he feels some gratitude that his perceived entitlements were not taken from him. This effect is even greater after an accident because his world, his reality, has forever changed. His ability to walk is not guaranteed, so when he regains the use of his legs, he sees it as gift.
The greater our perspective in life, the more permanent and deep is our gratitude. Nothing needs to happen to make us feel good. We simply appreciate what we have. To the degree we are egocentric we are constantly angry and frustrated at life for coming up short. Our expectations are never met, and we are consumed with what we lack, and what is owed to us. Happiness eludes us, and we are always one step away from feeling complete as we search endlessly for the next thins that promises to bring long-lasting fulfillment.
Capturing Inspiration
After the attacks of 9/11/2001, many people began to question the directions and purpose of their lives. Beholding the delicate, finite, and temporary nature of the world makes us want to attach ourselves to something more, something real.
If we are doing something truly fulfilling, then our resolve is enhanced. However, if our pursuits are myopically selfish or simply unfulfilling and uninspiring, or in the context of reality, simply insignificant, then we are driven, at least temporarily to do something that gives more meaning to our lives. Often, we resolve silently to do something, but that sentiment fades in time, and we go back to our old ways and thoughts.
Most people allow the momentum to dissipate. When the clarity fades, so does our steam; the opportunity is lost unless we take possession of it. The objective is not simply to gain an incremental movement forward, only movement in the physical world opens the next window. Consider multi-leg airline travel to a remote location. If we miss one flight, then we lose the opportunity for the connecting flight. Whether or not we take action, our reality unfolds in accordance with our expectations. When we tell ourselves that our desire won’t last anyway, then we let the moment pass and prove ourselves right. The truth, however, is that we missed our next “flight.”
Each action produces a reaction, uninterrupted, unless it is acted on by another force, which itself produces a reaction. Motion creates emotion; since we live in a physical world, the physical needs to be engaged to affect psychological concepts of inspiration.
It is not enough to nurture strong feelings, we can only effect change by doing. Taking immediate swift action actually transforms that action, allowing us to accomplish much more. This is not just because we have more time, but because the action is qualitatively different as a result of us moving quicker and sooner. When we get up extra early, for example, we not only gain a few more hours; rather, the experience of the entire day is different.
While time is linear, progress does not have to be. Times of enhanced objectivity offer us the lens through which we can view reality, and realign our priorities with a more accurate sense of what is important. Hazy, illusory options are replaces by clear lit paths. Our ego is temporarily blinded, and we have the ability to jump forward. We must choose to take action in that defining moment.